Creating a (VERY) Basic Router for a Hyper-V Private Network – Part Two: Creating the Router VM


In Part One, I created the virtual switches to create a lab network that looks kind of like this:

Goal Virtual Network.png


One of the virtual switches is an “External” switch, which means it connects to the actual home network.  The other is a “Private” switch, which means it has no connectivity outside of itself, including the host computer.

Connecting the Virtual Machines

I have three virtual machines I want to use in my lab.  One is running Windows Server 2016 Standard, one is running Windows 7 Enterprise and the other is running Windows 10 Professional.

Each of these should be connected to the “Private” virtual switch.

I’ll need two virtual switches:  One for the lab environment network and one that connects to the home network.  For access to the home network, I’ll need to create a virtual switch and connect it to an “external” network.

Select one of the virtual machines and then click on “Settings” under the virtual machine’s section of the “Actions” pane.  It’s the bottom half of that pane:

VSM Select VS.png

In the left pane, under “Hardware”, select “Network Adapter”.  In the right pane, select the Private virtual switch created previously and then click “OK”:

VSM Select Connection.png

I did this for all of the virtual machines in the lab environment.  Next, I created the router.

Creating the Router Virtual Machine

I created a very basic virtual machine using the following settings:

  • 2GB RAM, using Dynamic Memory
  • Connection to the Private virtual switch
  • 80GB HDD

I’ve documented the VM creation in a different post.

Installing Ubuntu Linux

First step here is to get the latest distro.  Generally speaking, I tend to go with the most stable release rather than the latest and greatest.  I downloaded the LTS version and at the time of this posting, the version was 16.04.3.

I’ll give you a screen-by-screen walkthrough of the installation, but it’s pretty simple.

Connect to your VM and mount the installation media as a DVD drive:

Insert Disk.png

Start the VM and the installation should automagically start:

Start Install.png

You won’t have mouse support here, so just use arrow keys to navigate and then hit the <ENTER> key to select an option.

Assuming you want to use “English”, accept the default and just hit <ENTER>.  You’ll end up at the installation menu:


Leave the selection at “Install Ubuntu Server”, hit <ENTER> and you’ll end up at the language selection screen for the OS installation:

Lang Select.png

Select your language, or keep it at “English” and hit <ENTER>.  Next, you select your location:

Location Select.png

Select your location, or keep it at “United States” and hit <ENTER>.

The next screen is pretty cool.  The Ubuntu install will attempt to detect your keyboard layout.

Unless you want to change the keyboard layout, just accept the default and hit <ENTER>:

Auto Keyboard.png

The next two screens allow you to manually select the keyboard layout.  The first screen selects the language/nationality.  The second allows you to configure different layouts for the keyboard language.  Pretty cool stuff:

Key Lay.png

Key Lay 2.png

Again, change it if you need to; otherwise, accept the default values of “English (US)” and hit <ENTER> on both screens.

Next come some progress bars:

Progress Bars.png

It’s time to configure the network.  Since I’ve got this VM on an isolated private virtual switch, there are no DHCP servers available to hand out IP addresses.  Because of that, I get the following error:

Net Error.png

No big deal, we want a static IP address anyway.

Hit <ENTER> to get to a menu with some new options:

Net Config Menu.png

“Configure network manually” should be highlighted, so just hit <ENTER>.  Configure the IP settings in the next few windows:


Blank Router.png

Blank DNS.png

I don’t need a router address on this network, so I left the Gateway field blank.  Ditto with the DNS settings… I won’t need to worry about DNS resolution on this VM.  The next screen is for the hostname, which I will use:


Put in whatever hostname you want, and this press <ENTER>:

Blank Domain Name.png

Again, I’m not worried about DNS, so I’m not going to worry about a domain name, which is why I left it blank.

Enter whatever domain name you wish, then hit <ENTER>.

The next few screens are used for assigning a full name, a username and a password for logging into the router OS:





Enter the full name, the username and the password you’ll use to logon to the router OS and hit <ENTER>:


If you want to encrypt your home folder (I don’t think it really matters for what I’m doing, but better safe than sorry, yes?), highlight “Yes” and hit <ENTER>:


Select your time zone and hit <ENTER>.

The next step is the disk setup.  You have a lot of options for partitioning the disks.  For what I’m doing, I don’t need anything fancy.  So, I’ll just go with the easiest options:


partition 2.png

partition 3.png

On the confirmation page, change your selection to “Yes” and hit <ENTER>.  More progress bars:

More progress bars.png

HTTP proxy.png

Unless you need one, which is highly unlikely, just leave the HTTP proxy field blank and hit <ENTER> so you can watch some more progress bars:

Even more progress bars.png

The next option gives the option of managing updates.  I recommend installing security updates automatically.  The other updates can always be downloaded manually:

Sec Update Install.png

Highlight “Install security updates automatically” and hit <ENTER>:

Package Select.png

For my purposes, I need nothing but the very basics.

Leave this at the default settings (“standard system utilities”) and hit <ENTER> for another round of progress bars.  After that, got GRUB?:

Yet more progress bars.png


GRUB is fine.  Accept the default value of “Yes” and hit <ENTER> for more progress bars and a friendly reminder to remove your installation media for the reboot:

And even more progress bars.png


This wraps up the installation.  Next is the configuration.

Creating a (VERY) Basic Router for a Hyper-V Private Network – Part One: Creating Virtual Switches


So, I need to set up a test network because I have problems with GPO settings not being picked up by Windows 10 clients.  I’m pretty sure it’s a problem with Windows 10, but I need to get my ducks in a row so I can talk Microsoft into refunding the $500 I’ll spend on the support call.

My home network looks like this-ish:

Home Network.png


It ties into some other networks, so I don’t want to add more stuff into it.  Instead, I want to create a virtual lab environment.  It needs access to the internet, but I want the traffic isolated(ish).

I have two NICs on my desktop computer, so one of those can be dedicated to Hyper-V.  Ideally, I’d like to accomplish something like this:

Goal Virtual Network.png


Creating the virtual environment isn’t particularly difficult.  The challenge is in routing the traffic from the virtual environment to the internet via the home network.  I figured there was some sort of virtual router I could download, but they’re all geared towards creating Wi-Fi hot spots.  So, I created my own.

Creating the Virtual Switches

I’ll need two virtual switches:  One for the lab environment network and one that connects to the home network.  For access to the home network, I’ll need to create a virtual switch and connect it to an “external” network.

In Hyper-V Manager, open the Virtual Switch Manager:

Open VSM.png

In the left pane, under “Virtual Switches”, select “New virtual network switch”.  In the right pane, select “External” and then click the “Create Virtual Switch”:

VSM Create.png

Give the Virtual Switch a name and then select the network card to use for the virtual switch:

VSM Select NIC.png

Clear the check box for the “Allow management operating system to share the network adapter” setting, and then click “OK”:

VSM OS Access.png

You’ll get a warning regarding network connectivity to the host OS which you can safely ignore, so just click “Yes”:


Go through the same process again, this time creating a Private virtual switch:

VSM Private.png

Give it an identifying name:

VSM Private 2.png

The networks are set up now, so it’s time to assign the virtual machines to the private switch and create the router.

That’s in Part Two.





Beware of Newegg’s Return Policy

If a policy is wrongheaded feckless and corrupt I take it personally and consider it a moral obligation to sound off and not shut up until it’s fixed. – David H. Hackworth

So, I ordered an ASUS ZenBook Pro on January 5th, and it’s one of the most disappointing experiences in recent memory.  It arrived on the 9th and I was impressed as soon as I opened up the box.

First off, the thing is absolutely gorgeous.  The entire thing is aluminum with a brushed circular texture that looks and feels great.  The display is beautiful and the NanoEdge Touchscreen has an extremely thin bezel.  The whole effect is stunning.

The keyboard and touchpad both feel great, too.

The specs are off the charts for a laptop this size:

  • Intel Core i7-7700Q CPU
  • 16GB RAM
  • 512GB PCIe x4 SSD
  • GTX 1050 Ti GPU (4GB GDDR5)

Total size & weight – 14.4″W x 9.9″D x .74″W, 3.97 lbs.

Price – $1,699.00

I ran benchmarks on this and compared it to an HP Omen and an HP Spectre x360.  It blew away the Spectre, but didn’t compare that well to the Omen (but that was a full-on gaming rig with an NVidia GTX 1080 in it).

The end result was I was super thrilled with the laptop and looking forward to having it for a few productive years.  Once I buy a laptop, my first general step is to purchase a second AC adapter for it; I keep one under my desk and one in my backpack.

First Disappointment:
Try finding an extra power brick online. I dare you. Don’t bother asking ASUS either… they just tell you to check with online retailers.  The part number is ubiquitous with a couple of different variations, and finding one with the correct plug on it is pretty much impossible.

I attempted to reinstall Windows so I could use my own Windows 10 Pro license. Booting into the BIOS utility is a challenge and when I did, getting the BIOS to boot from the USB drive was impossible without some help from ASUS support. The instructions were nowhere to be found otherwise. I did an online chat with ASUS support and, to their credit, they were online within a few seconds and gave me the instructions I needed.  I’ve documented this process in case you need it.

Unfortunately, this led to….

Second Disappointment:
When you attempt to reinstall Windows, the keyboard mappings are non-standard. It ends up that the ‘0’ key, for example inputs an asterisk (*) and the ‘p’ key inputs a forward slash ‘/’. (I may have those backwards).

For this, ASUS support could only suggest updating the chipset drivers and installing another of their drivers. Unfortunately, this doesn’t help when one is in the setup program and can’t change the drive partition size to the value one wants because the zero key produces an ‘invalid input’ error. ASUS support recommended I send it in for repairs. Instead, I RMA’d it to Newegg who cross-shipped me a new laptop.

Third Disappointment:
This laptop had the exact same issue with keys not mapping correctly.

Once I saw that was the case, I booted back to the pre-installed OS and updated the chipset drivers and other ASUS driver before I did anything else. At that point, Windows Update could no longer finish an update it downloaded and the laptop basically went through that attempt and failed every single time you shut it down.

After a day, it would no longer even shut down; only reboot. If the power key was held down until the power was off, it would start again as soon as the power key was released. If a shutdown was attempted through Windows, it would just reboot.

So, with a ton of regret, I decided to return the second defective laptop.

Guess what? I was out of my return window.

Fourth Disappointment:
Newegg screwed me over.

Newegg’s clock for my 30 day return policy apparently started ticking the moment I hit the “Submit” button on the order, and not when I actually received the laptop.

Here’s the timeline:

January 5 – Ordered the laptop with ShopRunner 2 Business Day shipping
January 9 – Laptop arrives
January 24 – RMA for defective laptop
January 25- Replacement laptop ships
January 30 – Replacement laptop arrives
February 6 – I’m told I can’t return the second laptop because I’m 2 days past the return window


1. The first four days of the return window, the laptop was in transit.
2. Worst case, my return window should have started January 9th, when I received it.
3. The first laptop was defective.
4. The replacement laptop was shipped on January 25th.
5. The replacement laptop arrived on January 30th… five more days of shipping
6. The return window wasn’t reset when the replacement arrived

If I had not asked for a replacement, I would have gotten a full refund. I could have then ordered a new one and gotten a new 30 day return window.


I guess I won’t be buying big ticket items on Newegg any longer.  That sucks… I’ve been a customer of their’s for years.


Booting an ASUS Laptop to a USB Drive

I purchased an ASUS Zenbook Pro laptop (UX550VE).  It’s a pretty amazing machine.  The specs are:

  • 15.6″ HD Touchscreen display
  • Intel Core i7 7th Gen 7700HQ @ 2.80Ghz
  • 16GB RAM
  • 512GB NVMe PCIe Gen3x4 SSD
  • NVIDIA GeForce GTX 1050Ti with 4GB RAM
  • 2 USB C 3.1 Gen 2 (Thunderbolt)
  • 2 USB 3.0 Gen 1
  • HDMI

As it turns out, there are some issues with this computer, and I may not keep it.  Specifically, when one attempts to load a new version of Windows, the keyboard no longer maps certain keys correctly.

Figuring this out, of course, required actually booting from installation media for Windows 10 and figuring out how to boot from installation media for Windows 10 proved to be a challenge in and of itself.

When you boot up this laptop, it goes straight to the installed OS; in this case, Windows 10 Home.  It takes about 2 seconds to boot and there’s no indication of any kind to let one how to get into the BIOS.

After trial, error and a chat with tech support (who was pretty helpful), here’s how to accomplish this daunting task….

1. Power on the Laptop
If you don’t know how to do this, then I’m not sure anything else here can help you.

2. Hit the <F2> Key as if Your Life Depended On It
Seriously… spam the hell out of this.

3. Welcome to the BIOS Utility

2018-01-30 21.59.22.jpg
Pardon the pictures… no screenshot functionality available, and I didn’t dress up for this.

Notice how under “USB Port”, you can see the SanDisk USB stick is detected, but it doesn’t show up under “Boot Priority”.

This particular USB drive is formatted as NTFS because of its size.  If it had been FAT32, it would have been detected:

2018-01-31 13.19.07.jpg

4. Enter Advanced Mode
Enter Advanced Mode by hitting the <F7> key:

2018-01-31 13.39.37.jpg

5. Change Boot Options
Go to the Boot screen by using the left and right arrow keys.  Once there, you need to disable the “Fast Boot” option:

2018-01-31 13.41.05.jpg

From there, go to the Security screen and set the Secure Boot to “Disabled”:

2018-01-31 13.41.51.jpg

Back to the Boot screen, set CSM Support to “Enabled”:

2018-01-31 13.42.15.jpg

You’ll see the Launch PXE OptROM Policy, which needs to be set to “Enabled”:

2018-01-31 13.42.31.jpg

6. Select Boot Device
Reboot, hit <F2> to enter the BIOS Utility and then hit <F8> to select the boot device, which should be your USB drive.

2018-01-31 13.52.21.jpg

Isn’t that easy?

Yeah, I didn’t think so, either.

Star Wars: The Last Jedi, or “How I Turned to the Dark Side”

“ I feel the conflict within you. Let go of your hate.” – Luke Skywalker

So, with great trepidation, I saw The Last Jedi.

To all of the readers of my post on The Force Awakens, you both know I wasn’t a fan.  Well, as much as I hate to admit it, I really liked this one.


For the most part, my complaints with TFA were addressed in Last Jedi (I guess they read my blog).  Leia’s character was well-developed and more along the lines of what one would expect from her.  The only thing I found silly was when she started flying through space.  If one is familiar with the books, it does fit with her strength in The Force, but I’m not sure that came through as clearly in the movies.

The light saber battle in TFA between Kylo and Rey has been explained pretty well.  I still think there’s a big plot hole there:  Proficiency with a light saber is about technique augmented by The Force, and technique takes training and practice.  She needs both.  Sure, she can fight with a staff, but staves and swords are different weapons and require totally different training.

I appreciate the reference to the Jedi Temple, and Luke’s attempt to rebuild the Jedi Order.  That was a HUGE issue for me in the last movie.  Why in the world would Luke be out in the middle of nowhere when he should be out rebuilding the Order?

There are still some issues fans have with the movie, and most are legitimate:

  1. No backstory for Snoke
    I agree with this.  I was curious to see who Snoke was and how he came about.  I mean, how did he turn Ben Solo into Kylo Ren?  How did he start The First Order?  These should have been explained, and other entire story lines (Finn/Rose, anyone?) could have been cut to make room.
  2. Luke Skywalker attacks Ben Solo
    I agree with this, too.  Luke would NEVER have tried to kill a student.  But, here’s the twist:  He didn’t.  The version given by Kylo Ren is different than the version given by Luke.  According to Kylo, Luke attacked him in his sleep.  According to Luke, he was tempted to, but didn’t.  Which is the truth?  Well, I think I trust Luke more than Kylo.  Also, I can see how the devastating consequences of a momentary wavering of his conviction would cause Luke to abandon his role as Jedi Master and choose to live as a hermit.  To me, this was believable, if not what I wanted to see.
  3. Luke’s death
    I didn’t like this.  First, it was ambiguous… was it suicide, or did something involving his encounter with Kylo kill him?  Or, was it just the sheer effort required to pull off that kind of force projection?  That needed explanation.  Also, I don’t think Luke needed to die.  Rey needs training… and she’s not going to get it from the books she stole from the tree (even Yoda said the books don’t have the right info).  It would have made more sense, in my mind, to have Luke survive and join up with the rest of the resistance so he could train Rey.  Then again, it does take death to turn a hero into a legend.  So, maybe this plays out in the third installment.
  4. Humor
    Fans complain about the humor being forced and “un-Star Warsy”.  I disagree.  I thought the humor was well done.  I liked the “crank call” at the beginning because it fit Poe’s personality.  Also, I laughed out loud to the pilot’s response in the scene where General Hux argues with Kylo Ren about Kylo descending to the surface to face Luke.  On the other hand, it did kind of turn General Hux into a buffoon, so maybe the fans have a point.
  5. Finn/Rose
    I honestly thought there was no point to the whole Finn/Rose plot line.  It’s kind of like Raiders of the Lost Ark.  At the end of the day, nothing Indiana Jones did mattered.  The Nazis got the Ark, God killed them and the US Government recovered it and stored it away.  Indiana Jones didn’t even need to exist.  Ditto with Finn and Rose.  Their mission failed completely, the skimmer attack was unsuccessful and even Finn’s attempt to valiantly sacrifice himself didn’t work.  So, what was the point?  They could have sacrificed that entire story and used the time to answer a lot of questions from the first movie, namely:  Snoke’s origin and rise to power, Rey’s parentage, Kylo’s turn to the Dark Side and the Knights of Ren, the fate of Luke’s other students, etc.  Quite frankly, Rose didn’t need to exist and killing off Finn would probably make things simpler in the next installment.

Even given the complaints above, I have to admit I liked it.  I walked out feeling like it was a good movie.

I also thought it was a good Star Wars movie, and that’s a different thing altogether.

The Netflix Match System – A Study in Generating Random Numbers

The problem with binge-watching on Netflix is that you lose three days of your life.”  – Harland Williams

Has anyone ever figured out how Netflix comes up with the match percentage that appears on the stuff that comes up on your main page?

I, for example, watch a lot of stand up comedy on Netflix.  So, I expect to get Bill Burr, Mike Berbiglia, etc.  I’ve also watched most of the Marvel movies that are on there as well as Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and  Jessica Jones.

So, it makes total sense I’d get things like Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2 (or, as I like to call it, “Try Hard 2″… or is “Try 2 Hard” better?) or The Punisher to come up as matches for what I like to watch.  (Both of those are 98% matches).

So, why is Luke Cage a 74% match?  Because I watched Friends, does Netflix automatically assume I don’t like black people?

Here’s the one that just stuns me:  On my top bar, the movie “8 Mile” is a 98% match.

8 Mile.


Right next to “Ace Ventura:  When Nature Calls”.

Never mind that I really can’t stand anything about Eminem/Marshall Mathers/Skinny Shadow/Whatever.  And, forget the fact I haven’t watched anything at all like Ace Ventura on Netflix (and thought the first one was pretty abysmal).

How in the hell did Netflix determine that BOTH of these shows somehow rated a 98% match?

Which begs the question… Of what is this a 98% match?

I think it goes something like this:

  1. I just watched House of Cards starring Kevin Spacey.
  2. Kevin Spacey was in The Usual Suspects with Kevin Pollack.
  3. Kevin Pollack was in A Few Good Men with Kevin Bacon.

Wait… no, that’s the Kevin Bacon degrees of separation thing.

But, I did it in three degrees and all three are named Kevin, so I think that’s a 98% match for something.


Deleting the VTP Configuration From a Cisco Switch

WARNING:  If you follow the instructions here, you will wipe out your VTP and VLAN configurations.  Make sure you have backed up your switch!!!

I recently had some issues with a few low-end Cisco routers (RV325) and I opened a case with Cisco TAC.  The basic problem was that I couldn’t get the routers to route traffic in this kind of environment:

I wasn’t using the firewall feature; just routing.  (The firewalls in the diagram were ASAs).

Well, the Cisco engineer couldn’t figure out what was wrong, so I pulled a couple of routers out of the network and set up a small lab so the engineer could remote in and play with it.  The lab environment looked like this:

The networks were all connected with a Cisco 2950 24-port switch using VLAN and a Cisco 2601 configured as a router-on-a-stick.

I know… really old hardware, but it was just lying around collecting dust and it can do what I needed, so why not?

When I attempted to blank out the config, I couldn’t get rid of the VLANs… which reminded me how frustrating VTP can be.

For example, years ago, I borrowed one of these 2950’s from the datacenter where I have a few cabinets.  Before I returned it, I wiped the config.  Six months later, I get a call from their head engineer informing me that I had taken down the entire datacenter.

VTP configuration information is stored in the VLAN database, which is NOT deleted when one clears the config.  I had actually used VTP in my network, but they didn’t and the VTP operating mode of all of their switches were still the default – “server”.  So, when they put that switch back into production, my VTP config was pushed out across their network and every single VLAN database on every single switch was overwritten with my VLAN config.

This is one of the reasons why everyone should know how to clear the VTP config out of the VLAN database.

The VLAN database is stored as a file in the flash memory.  To see it, go into privileged mode and issue a directory command for flash:

The VLAN database is stored in the file “vlan.dat”.

Since Cisco represents the state-of-the-art for networking equipment, one could assume the VTP configuration could be reset by issuing a command such as “clear config vtp”.  Of course, one would assume incorrectly.

You actually have to delete the file:


Once you’ve done that, you should be good to go.  Reload the switch and you’ll find the VTP (and VLAN) configuration has been removed.

Hope this helps!

Moving the Offline Folder Cache in Windows (7, 8, 8.1 and 10)

WARNING:  This post involves playing around with your operating system’s registry.  You use this information at your own risk.  For other warnings, please see the disclaimer.

I’m a big fan of Windows’ offline folder caching and have used it on my laptops for over a decade.  One thing I don’t like about it, however, is how difficult Microsoft has made it for the cache to be moved out of the Windows folder.  (By default, it’s found at \Windows\CSC).

WARNING:  If this isn’t a FRESH installation of Windows, make sure you have synchronized your offline files.  This procedure will ERASE ALL EXISTING OFFLINE FILES AND FOLDERS!!!

In order to move the cache, follow these steps:

1. Clear the content of your existing cache
Yeah, you have to do this.  And, it’s not a very obvious procedure.  You end up creating a registry key that resets the cache at startup and then deletes itself.  Here’s the command to create the registry key (you can do this at a command prompt):

REG ADD “HKLM\System\CurrentControlSet\Services\CSC\Parameters” /v FormatDatabase /t REG_DWORD /d 1 /f

Once you’ve done this, reboot.

2. Create the folder in the location where you’d like to have your cache
I always like to keep my data separate from my OS by storing it on a different drive (or, at the very least, a different partition).  For this example, I’m using the path X:\Data\Cache

3. Create a new registry value
Open Registry Editor and browse to:


This is the same key we modified before.  Notice how there’s no “FormatDatabase” value even though we added it prior to the last reboot.

Right-click on Parameters, hover on New and select String Value:

String Value Key Menu

Name the new string value “CacheLocation”:


Double-click on CacheLocation and input the path to the new cache location and then click “OK”:

Edit String

Notice the “\??\” in the value.  This is an NT Object Path used by the OS to reference the local path.  (If it was “\??\UNC\, it would be referencing a network path.)  You must use this format.

You’ll see the value populated now in your registry editor:

CacheLocation Populated

4. Reboot
 Once the OS is back up, it should be using the new location.  You can test this by opening the new folder and you should see a folder in there called “v.2.0.6”.  You should get a permission error if you try to open that folder.

I hope you find this useful!  If you see anything wrong, please let me know.

Post-Election Blues: Temper Tantrums and Meltdowns

When I saw the election results, it wasn’t so much that I was thrilled Trump got elected – it was more of a sense of relief that Hillary didn’t.

I decided the best course of action was to try and be a gracious winner and not gloat or rub anyone’s noses in it.

The events of this week, however, have changed my mind.  Now, I’m overjoyed Trump got elected.  And, as much as I know this is wrong, I’m experiencing a wave of schadenfreude as I watch liberals self-destruct.

To those children who are rioting in the streets and to those celebrities who are breaking down in tears:

All of you, to one degree or another, have no idea that you are like little robots.  Your party leaders don’t respect you; to the contrary.  They know you’re easily programmable and if they play the right tune, you’ll dance to it.


Because you honestly have no clue that people don’t have to agree with you.  You have no idea whatsoever that your feelings, no matter how strong, do not really matter in the general scheme of things.  The Democratic Party knows this and they use it get you to support anything they wish, factual or not.

Watching these disappointed children try to explain why they’re rioting is laughable.  They honestly have no idea.  All they know is they didn’t get their way even though they really, really, really wanted to.  To them, it’s is completely inexplicable that the elections results went against their desires because their feelings have always been put above everything else.  So, they do what they’ve always done:  throw a temper tantrum.

Watching celebrities completely break down is another thing that makes me happy to see Trump win.  Again, I’m not proud of this, but it’s true.

This is a group of people who are too dense to realize their sense of self-importance only exists because they’re pandered to by sycophants who make a living off of them.

Chelsea Handler broke down on camera and, as she bounced up and down on her chair like three-year-old crying because she has to eat her vegetables, explained how even though she wants to move to Spain, the people in her office told her she’s too important and has an obligation to stay.

Chelsea, you pay them.  What did you expect them to say?  “Oh, go ahead and move… we’ll find other jobs.”

Seth Meyers, you have what?  A 0.41 rating?  Good job… that means half of Jimmy Fallon’s audience changes the channel when you come on.

Miley Cyrus, at the end of her tear-filled breakdown video, said she accepted Donald Trump and the next day started an organization to oppose him.  Thanks for giving him a chance.  But, you said you were moving and aren’t, so we already knew you were a hypocrite.

Actors don’t realize they aren’t their characters.

Mark Ruffalo, Bruce Banner is a genius.  You’re not.  Ben Affleck, Tony Mendez and Batman are heroes.  You’re the guy who played dress-up.  Robert DeNiro, you’ve played so many tough guy characters you actually think you’re a tough guy.  You do know that fights in real life aren’t scripted and rehearsed with stunt men, right?

And, who the hell is Lena Dunham?

To our puffed up actors:  We buy tickets to your movies despite your opinions, not because of them.  We like your characters even when we really think you’re an idiot.

You serve no purpose in our society than to give us a two hour distraction from what we do – contribute to society in real ways.

You’re not moving like you said you would because you think you’re too important when reality is it just wouldn’t matter.  And, honestly, none of us thought you would because we know that all you do is clamor for attention and there’s no real substance behind that pretty face (or Chelsea Handler’s face, or Whoopi’s face, or…)

I would, however like to thank you for your hysterics, your tears, your whining, your hypocrisy and your meltdowns.  You have served the only purpose you serve in society:

You’ve entertained us.